Lessons from a cab driver and a couple living their dream

I like taking cabs once in a while.  I don’t own a car and hate to drive and on days when the weather is as bad as it is today, I take cash out of my cab fund and give myself this wonderful priviledge.  Plus, if you think about it, it’s really the only time that two strangers can engage in conversation.  I always start off by asking how their day is going.  “Having a busy one today?”.  “No, not really.”  He paused and added “I’m not a good taxi driver”.  I asked why and he replied saying that he doesn’t work regular hours.  Just here and there.  I told him that he probably has a better quality of life then.  People work too much.  “Yes, probably. I’m happy”.

“I have a philosophy about life you know”.  So I asked him to tell me more about that.

“People work too much and life becomes like a movie.  It’s the same every day and then it ends.  I don’t believe in an after-life.  I don’t believe in second chances.  It ends.  It’s done.  I don’t believe in religion but I believe in god.  I believe the big bang happened billions of years ago, I believe in physics but I don’t believe in this religion that will change your life if you pray more.”

“C’mon, it’s life!  But people sit back like if they’re in an audience, at the movies.  Sit back and watch their life happen instead of living it.”

It was time for me to leave the cab but I liked this guy so I gave him a pretty large tip.  He joked “I only talked to you for a few minutes and I get good tip.  I go buy a coffee then.  I need a coffee.  When i drink it, I’ll think of you.  Actually, if I see you again, I give you a free ride and we’ll drive for longer and talk philosophy ok?  Because people don’t talk anymore”.

People don’t talk anymore.  Not about anything that matters.  Yeah, let’s do that.  If you see me again, let’s just talk.

Reminds me something I just read recently in Coelho’s “Le Zahir” (I’m translating so it might not be word for word):

“In all human relations, what’s most important is conversation, but people don’t do that anymore – to sit down and talk and listen to others.  They go to the theatre, to the cinema, they watch television, they listen to the radio, read books, but they rarely speak to one another.  If we want to change the world, we have to go back to the times when people sat around the fire and recited stories.

I remembered that Esther said that all important things in our lives were born of long dialogues at a table or during the course of a stroll in the streets or in the parks”.

Combine that with the fact that we carry around the Internet and mobile games in our pockets now and that certainly doesn’t encourage anyone to talk to each other.

My co-worker and her hubby

But going back to the point that the cab driver made, about life in general, about living life.  I wanted to tell you about a co-worker of mine who has thrown caution to the wind and, along with her husband, has decided to take the trip of a lifetime.  Six weeks around the world.  They’ll be visiting places like London and Beijing and Tokyo and you can follow their adventures on their blog.

http://www.lindsaysearles.com/travel/

In a day and age when too many people don’t even take a day off once in a while, this is a refreshing story.  If you’ve been thinking about taking that vacation or attending an out of town workshop or doing anything that will make you happier, stronger or healthier, DO IT.  A word of warning: you will be resented.  It’s inevitable, people will resent you.  Most people will not want to know about your good times, your stories, your adventures and discoveries.  Just brush it off, it’s your life – make no apologies about it.

As a side note to that, I was really ill at one point in my life.  I was away from work for two months and returned 60 pounds lighter.  A few asked if I was alright, the rest threw comments my way like “well, must be nice to have had a break” or “wow, you look stunning! amazing what a little vacation will do eh? meanwhile, we’ve been stuck here! haha”.  In reality, everyone knew I had been ill.  I was pale, thin and severely malnourished.  I was not stunning.  I was much thinner, yes.  But, I was barely alive.

Resentment will make people say awful things and react in ways that you wouldn’t imagine.  In fact, the way that things work in the world of work isn’t really compatible with being ill or taking a break.  How many times have I had to endure speeches from bosses who said that I have to be sick less, as though I had some sort of divine control over how my genes or my body works?  How often have I seen people complain about working long hours and being burnt out when they have accumulated months of leave because they haven’t taken a vacation in years?  I even know of companies who have created financial rewards for employees who don’t miss a day of work.  Naturally, those who needed the money the most dragged themselves into work when they were extremely ill and that behaviour was rewarded.  The ones with chronic illnesses or sensitive immune systems became sicker.

Also, why do we care if a co-worker has taken leave and eye them suspiciously if they take a day off once in a while?  I worked as acting manager here and there at a few jobs and there were times when some of the people I was managing took a day off once in a while and called in sick.  They weren’t sick, they were playing hookie.  But I didn’t care – they came back relaxed and more productive than ever.  I even went as far as to unofficially encourage them to take a museum day off or a day off to go fishing. If you never get sick, why let those days go to waste?  A person’s mental condition is just as important as their physical health.  You want to encourage employee productivity to make your business more profitable?  Invest in paid days off (or even the idea of unpaid time off).  Buy a couple of museum passes or theatre tickets and hand them out to people who want to take a long weekend once in a while.  Even better, make it mandatory to take time off.

But we don’t tend to encourage health.  We don’t bother to read the books and the research that says that there’s a great return on investment when you invest in your workforce’s health and happiness.  Instead, we want to control, we want to give commands, we want to show who’s boss.  I’ve always told myself that I will know the right time to go into management.  But as long as it means passing down the toxic philosophies of the higher-ups, I refuse to do it.  I won’t encourage anyone to be sick and I won’t allow anyone to be pestered for being sick or taking a vacation; not under my watch.

Isn’t that the saddest thing in the world?  We invented this awful structure and we just stick to it like it’s the best way to do things.  We apologize for taking care of ourselves, we let people boss us around.  I even had to get a doctor’s note once because a manager felt I was taking too many bathroom breaks.  Can you imagine that?  My doctor was flloored and we laughed at the absurdity of it all.  But it’s these tiny little requests of people that fuel this appetite for control and power and smirks of “aha! got you!” and these little inventions of conspiracies.  “Maybe she’s going to the bathroom to avoid work!  Yes, to read magazines and paint her nails!  Aha!”.  Maybe she drinks 8 glasses of water a day and just has to take a piss, jerk.

I watched an old episode of The Biggest Loser the other day, just out of curiosity because I was briefly acquainted with the series a while back and during this episode, one of the contestants was introduced as the heaviest contestant in the show’s history.  She weighed in at over 400 pounds.  During her first workout, she gave up, walked out.  The trainer, Jillian Michaels, yelled in her face something along the lines of “I will not encourage you to play victim!”.  Wow, what an important and effective message.  It’s a message that says that if you want things to change, you have to take that initiative to make it happen.

I’ve mentioned before that you can expect a lot of dicussion about work and labour on this blog.  It’s because it’s where we spend most of our time when we’re alive.  The way we spend it is sometimes atrociously bad for us and we don’t even know it.  We stop believing in change and better possibilities at some point in our lives and that’s it.  Life goes on until we die.  Sit back, relax, grab some popcorn.  Let someone else take care of making things better.

So the cab driver was right.  And so is Coelho through the narrative of his characters.  And like my co-worker taking off to see the world, take this as a message of encouragement that a little risk is worth a whole lot once in a while.  Whether it’s saying “I’m going on that vacation I’ve always wanted” or it’s making a little change in the workplace to encourage everyone to lead a better life, then that’s the opportunity that you have to take.  If you’re in a position of power, it’s your responsibility.  Be just another peg in the system or do it differently.  Remember those days when you used to say “wow, if I was in that position, I wouldn’t do it that way”?  Remember those days when you and your girlfriend were going to fly away and lay in a hammock together?  Remember when you swore you’d never be like your mother or like your father?  Remember when you said you’d spend more time watching your child grow up instead of having the nanny know more about him than you do?  Yeah.  That time is right now.  Time to act, time to make a plan.  Sometimes, that’s all it takes: a plan that you can act on later if you can’t do it now.  Sometimes, just opening a savings account and nicknaming it “My Dream Fund” is all it will take to separate you from the person sitting in the audience throughout the movie and the adventurer in you that plays the main role in the film.

No related posts.